TIDBITS

BY RALPH SHEALY

 

WHAT A PRIVILEGE!　　

 

　　Reid Ringer called me last week and invited me to his house for supper Saturday.

　　He thought I would enjoy listening to his two special guests, his cousin Billy Coleman, 96, and his uncle, Lewis Ringer, 90.

　　In World War II, Mr. Billy piloted a landing boat on D-Day and Mr. Lewis fought in the Battle of the Bulge. These, of course, we two of the most decisive battles of the war.

　　Both men have minds as clear as a bell, and I enjoyed listening to their stories for nearly four hours. .

　　I am going to write a story about their war experiences soon, so I am not going to mention any of that here.

　　I will share a few other things, though.

　　One statement that struck me is such a common thing, but coming from a 90-year-old World War II, I was amazed.

　　Mr. Lewis told me he left his cell phone in his pants pocket, and washed the pants in the washing machine.

　　Like I said, washing a cell phone happens hundreds of times a day, probably, but how often does it happen to a man who fought in the Battle of the Bulge, 68-years ago, before there was even television?!

　　As a person who celebrated four years without smoking a cigarette in December, I knew Mr. Billy was a former heavy smoker, too, and I asked him how long ago he had quit.

　　Mr. Billy told me he quit many times.

　　He recalled a time he and Alfred Coleman were in my uncle Julius Shealy’s store (where the Rescue 1 Building is today).

　　Somehow they started talking about quitting smoking and they decided to actually do it. They shook hands on it.

　　A couple of years later, while they were hanging out at the store, smoking once again came up in the conversation.

　　"Do you miss smoking?," Alfred asked Mr. Billy.

　　"I miss it everyday," Mr. Billy said.

　　"Let’s start back," Alfred said.

　　"OK," said Mr. Billy, and they shook hands and started back!

　　Mr. Billy quit for good after a check-up, and it wasn’t because of bad news.

　　He had done well on his check-up, but the time had come for a lung X-ray.

　　"Oh, Lord," Mr. Billy said, "I’m in trouble now."

　　Everyone knows Mr. Billy smoked filterless Camels, one after another, for 60 years, I’d guess.

　　The doctor came in with the X-ray results, and Mr. Billy was expecting the worse.

　　"You’ve got the prettiest set of lungs, I’ve ever seen," the doctor said.

　　After hearing that, Mr. Billy never smoked another cigarette!

　　Thanks, Reid, Karen and Anna for inviting me to supper. It was a rewarding experience!

 

ONLY ME

 

　　I was getting my 300C serviced at Saluda Motor Sales Friday, and Mike Williams gave me the keys to a car to drive.

　　I thought he said the keys were to the green Durango.

　　When I got to the SUV, I accidentally hit the "panic" button, and not only did the Durango started honking its horn, the car two cars down from it did, too.

　You are supposed to hit the "panic" button to stop the "panic" button, but that doesn’t work with two cars howling.

　　So, I got in the Durango and tried to crank it, but the key wouldn’t fit. I must have heard wrong.

　　I walked to the other honking car, a green Concorde, and the key fit, but the "panic" did not stop.

　　Someone near the office heard what was going on and yelled, "Disconnect the battery!"

　　Well, I was not about to disconnect two batteries, when I could walk to the office to get another car.

　　On my way, both the cars went silent.

　　I got in the Concorde and drove away.

　　I don’t know what I did to cause two cars to go crazy, but I did it well!

 

ENOUGH!

 

　　No sooner did the aggravating candidate commercials leave the airways, the J.C. Penny screaming commercial started.

　　To be totally honest, it took me about three viewings to figure out why the people were screaming.

　　I guess it’s effective advertising, because we are all anxious for Feb. 1 to get here, so the commercials will shut up!

　　The next aggravating media event is Demi Moore’s "911 Call."

　　"Entertainment Tonight" spent Friday’s episode "analyzing the call," wondering what was left out.

　　You expect that from E.T., because the show is about entertainment, but Saturday morning "The Today Show" and "CBS Saturday Morning" devoted time to the call, too. Both news programs featured experts. More time was devoted to Demi than the Republican Presidential Primary or the Italian ship rescue.

　　One question was, "Where was Ashton Kutcher during Demi’s tragedy?"

　　He was the same place most estranged husbands are - somewhere else.

　　Monday, when E.T. started the show with further analysis of Demi’s "911" call, I turned the channel just in time to catch a J.C. Penny commercial!

　　Oh, in case you were on the moon last week, Demi Moore smoked something she wasn’t supposed to, got sick, and was sent to the hospital. By the time all this "911" stuff was "revealed," she was already home.

 

AMAZED

 

　　I went to the Saluda High Football Recognition Ceremony Sunday at the SHS Cafeteria.

　　To be totally honest, I was expecting the parents of the football players and a few other fans to attend.

　　The place was packed! The coaches had to bring in more chairs.

　　This is a tribute to the players and coaches of the 2011 Tigers. The fans saw something last season they liked - a promising future.

　　Coach Doug Painter said the Tiger goal is to go forward, not drop backwards.

　　He praised this year’s seniors, and hoped that one day they could look back and say, "We started this."